

Paperback: 192 pages
Publisher: Zondervan; Student ed. edition (December 18, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0310671434
ISBN-13: 978-0310671435
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (113 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #79,080 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #6 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Children's & Teens > Teens > Social Issues #33 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Ministry & Evangelism > Youth Ministry #88 in Books > Teens > Religion & Spirituality

I could write a novel about this book, but I'll try to keep it brief. The reader of this review should know up front that I'm biased; I know the author and his wife well, and have served with them in their ministry. I greatly respect them both, and so my opinion of this book is in no small part shaped by my affection and respect for its author.Dr. Tracy spends a great deal of the book showing hard research on the devastating effects of abuse. So many churchy people want to act like abuse can't happen in the church; Dr. Tracy was in the same boat until he found out that a fellow pastor in his church was beating his wife.Also, each chapter is prefaced with a real-life personal story that illustrates the point that the chapter is making. Chapter topics include ideas like (ungodly) shame, denial, emotional deadness, and many of the other common results of abuse.Practical issues like forgiveness and reconciliation are covered, but with much more care than most theologians exercise. For instance, when Luke 17:3 says, "If your brother sins against you rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him," doesn't that imply conditional forgiveness? Dr. Tracy parses this as "relational forgiveness," akin to reconciliation. That is, biblically, we aren't required to enter again into a close relationship with someone who hasn't turned from their abusive ways. How many times have you ever heard this? Rarely have I, but it's right there in the Bible. A different sort of forgiveness, according to Dr. Tracy, is unconditional, and that is simply giving up one's desire for vengance against the abuser.
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